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Gary Glitter

by Randy Thorntree on May 24, 2011 · 8 comments

Hey remember that asshole Gary Glitter, the guy with the catchiest sports anthem of all time?

I know what you’re thinking, how could someone that awesome looking be an asshole?

I’m glad you asked.  Gary Glitter aka Rubber Bucket (I shit you not), was a power house of mediocre music for nearly 4 decades.  He’s best known for the song, Rock and Roll Part 2, which was featured on the must-own audio classic, Jock Jams, and can be heard at every sporting event…ever. If you haven’t heard it, look in the mirror, you might be an asshole too.

Do I enjoy crapping on Mr. Rubber Bucket’s choice of musical stylings? Of course not. I like to yell, “Ba na na na…Hey!” as much as the next guy, or gal. Chicks dig sports too, let’s not be sexist. No, I hate on Glitter here because of his choice to diddle children. Shocker, I know. How could I ever imagine this angelic creature taking advantage of a minor? Hmmm….Ok, I see it now.

Well, I’m sure he learned his lesson after getting caught, right? WRONGGGGGG! I was channeling “Strong Bad” there. Let’s look at the facts. He was first arrested in ’97 for possession of child pornography on his hard drive, which he had brought in to get repaired. Well played, GG.

So to get away from all the haters, he moved to Cambodia, where he was then deported for suspected child sexual abuse…ASSHOLE. Then he moved to Vietnam, where….can you guess it? He was convicted of having sex with 2 minors…DOUBLE ASSHOLE. Those Vietnamese were pissed too, he almost got the death penalty.

Besides all the pain and suffering left behind in the wake of his kiddy-sex rampage, the real losers here…are us. Because of that first arrest in 1997, his role was cut in the uber-mega hit, SPICE WORLD. You son of a bitch, Gary.  I hope you’ve learned a lesson from all this.

“If you wanna be my lover” you gotta be 18.

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