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Christopher Columbus

by Ronny Sunshine on October 11, 2011 · 1 comment

Hey remember that asshole Christopher Columbus?  You know the one in that jaunty rhyme they teach you in first grade: “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”  They credit this guy with “discovering” America, challenging the world is flat theory, and spreading Christianity.  But they overlook all the fun facts.  You know like his opium addiction, shitting overboard his ship for cleanliness and my personal favorite, giving people STDs.

So when Columbus first decided to take his voyage to America he wasn’t going for any noble reason like in the name of discovery.  He was actually trying to find a trade route by water to India. They wanted to avoid running into Middle Eastern people on land for silk and spice trade, the “Urapeeins” could continue smoking nutmeg while wearing silk shirts like this:

Sail On!

Harold Camping

June 21, 2011

Tweet Hey remember that asshole Harold Camping?  You know the asshole that predicted the world would end last month and made a big spectacle with his radio show and billboards?  Man what a tool (of the Lord) that guy was. History is full of assholes that have predicted the end of the world.  We had […]

FINISH ME!! →

Günter Parche

June 8, 2011

Tweet Günter Parche – Lover of Steffi Graf and Michael Myers to Monica Seles It’s April 30th 1993 and the world’s number 1 female tennis player, 19 year old Monica Seles is playing in the quarterfinals of the Citizen Cup in Hamburg, Germany.  Leading 6-4, 4-3 Seles walked to the sideline to take a break but […]

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O.J. Simpson

May 25, 2011

Tweet Hey, remember that asshole O.J. Simpson?  Yeah the hilarious guy from the Naked Gun movies.  The awesome running back.  Oh yeah, and the guy that (may or may not have but probably) murdered his ex-wife and her http://www.laviagraes.com/viagra-vencido friend, got off and then subsequently went to prison for armed robbery and kidnapping.  Yeah… THAT […]

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Gary Glitter

May 24, 2011

Tweet Hey remember that asshole Gary Glitter, the guy with the catchiest sports anthem of all time? I know what you’re thinking, how could someone that awesome looking be an asshole? Tweet

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Who Performed at your Company Holiday Party Last Year

May 18, 2011

Tweet Hey remember that asshole entertainer who performed at your company holiday party last year? So you’ve had 12 Michelob Ultras (hey, you sit behind a desk all day…) and you’re at your company’s awards dinner. It’s a good night. You’ve charmed your boss, his boss and the hot girl https://www.acheterviagrafr24.com/a-quoi-sert-le-viagra/ from accounting. That new […]

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Alexander Graham Bell

May 17, 2011

Tweet Hey remember that asshole Alexander Graham Bell, the guy who invented the telephone? WHAT? The man invented the telephone and helped teach Helen Keller. How could he be an asshole? Tweet

FINISH ME!! →